Some Things I've Learned, And Things I'm Still Learning

At heart, I'm a deeply insecure person. I don't take criticism well. It harkens back to my school years, when I felt like an alien in my own skin. I was never the kid others wanted to play with (or at least play nice). In many ways, this hasn't changed much.

I have strong opinions, and those are tough to hold onto. The reason being that the stronger your opinions, the more the world will try to beat them out of you. I'm gonna hang onto mine until I'm given a good reason to let them go.

People will try to change you, always. Being able to recognize the intention behind it is the greatest survival skill I know. If you end up rearranging your values for an asshole, the joke's on you.

Selfishness is an incredibly destructive quality. It starts wars, and it never led to anything good for 99.9999% of people. I'm guilty of selfishness on a massive scale, and it stems from a bottomless want in me that can't be quenched or medicated. I don't want to be a statistic, I want to win. I know it's not healthy.

My creativity is my lifeblood, and I would die without it. I withered for years until I realized this. I didn't realize it because I didn't think I was good enough; sometimes, I still don't.

The metaphoric possibilities of storms and other weather patterns have basically been exhausted, and yet I still try to find ways to make them fresh.

The purity of children and puppies, but especially children, has been debated through time by philosophers and religious leaders, but when I look at my niece and nephew -- 2 and 3 -- I tend to believe the naysayers are full of shit. Children up to a certain age are fucking PURE -- just look at them. Past the age of ten, all bets are off.

The best friend I ever had was my dog Chopper -- half Doberman, half Chow. His tongue was half blue (that's the Chow). He was beaten with a belt when he was a puppy, by a man that I know and despise, and he never recovered from it. I think I related to him because I felt beaten down too; he was my friend when no one else would be. Our favorite place to go was the beach by the schoolhouse; he loved to play Frisbee and swim in the ocean there. When he died, I was 24, and I wasn't around to see him go. I still miss him.

I don't know if I'll ever be religious, but I know I'll never be an atheist. To me, atheism stinks of the same moral certitude as Christian or Islamic fundamentalism. I don't hold the keys to the universe, and I refuse to pretend that I do.

Cynicism isn't always cheap. Sometimes it's necessary.